Burn
by honorableotp
Summary: Before Ric's disastrous wedding, because the twins don't exist, Caroline and Klaus find a way. But then it all goes wrong. Super fucking angsty. Angst central, folks. Originally a oneshot but it's like four thousand words so enjoy. "You were always supposed to last longer than the rest of us. You were too competitive to go first."


He doesn't know why he had come. He supposes it has something to do with her having wanted it.

" _Klaus?" He spits the toothpaste in his sink and answers absentmindedly before splashing water onto his face._

" _Hmm?" She takes a breath.  
_ " _When I die, don't shut everyone out." He shoots up and is in the doorway between their bathroom and their room, look like he had been slapped._

" _Don't say that, love. Do not_ _ **ever**_ _say that. You're not going to die." She laughs, and Klaus is so confused._

 _How is she okay with this conversation?_

 _There is nothing bitter in her, not even with the knowledge that she will go too soon._

 _It doesn't matter when she dies, it never will have been enough._

 _She sits with her her legs crossed, in nothing but her panties, which probably costed more than her first laptop. He stares at her, morning sunlight trickles in, just reaching her thigh, and Klaus imagines biting where the sun asks him to._

" _Klaus, you can't possibly think that." He crawls next to her in bed, leaning against the headboard and beckoning for her to join him. Her leg is sprawled across his and his right arm his wrapped tightly around her._

 _She knows what this conversation is doing to him. He is trying so hard to play it off, but she knows._

" _You're right, love. I know it." She smiles and kisses his bare chest a few times, before looking up at him._

" _Baby-"  
_ " _I despise it when you call me that."  
_ " _Baby, you know I'll go before you." She holds up a finger to stop him from speaking. "Just… don't be bitter. Know that I'm happy, Nik." He smiles at the name, but frowns immediately after. "I'm happy and I'm in love with you and when I die those things will still be to the funeral. Mourn me, but don't shut your family out. Don't shut out the people who love you, okay? And don't refuse to take lovers. Just, don't let me ruin you." He lays on top of her, only letting some of his weight press into her. He buries his head in her hair and says something that takes her breath away._

" _You already have."_

 _She whimpers._

 _She is so damn in love with him._

 _He takes her, and she lets him promise her with every thrust that he will always be there to protect her. He'll always make sure she's okay._

 _She lets him lie to her._

That doesn't matter, though. Not anymore. She's dead. She'll never want anything again.

So why is he here?

The back of the church was empty. He chose the last row. He couldn't be around all those people, and he couldn't be near her corpse; not again. He looked down at his hands, and despite knowing it wasn't there, despite the memory of scrubbing his hands completely raw until Hayley had stopped him, he saw her blood coating them.

It would always be there.

He takes his right pointer finger and begins scratching the pew. The sound is constant and almost reassuring.

The Bennett witch tried to say something; tried to say anything.  
"Caroline… we grew up together," She stopped to take a deep breath. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry, I just…" Damon Salvatore was on his feet and carrying the sobbing girl off the stage within seconds.

His finger begins to hurt.

Pathetic fools, he screams in his head, you can't even even give her a decent funeral. How are you so incapable of giving the girl who sacrificed pieces of herself constantly for your unworthy selves?

Stefan takes her place. His gaze is cold and grief filled as it runs over the people in the pews, some weeping at the lost of Elizabeth Forbes' child, some here simply out of social requirement. They didn't care about her. After the service all they would speak of is how young Stefan, Damon, and Tyler still look. Her group of friends were seated together in the front row, all except Elena. Tyler had even made the journey from whatever backwoods hell he had run off too.  
"Caroline was my best friend. She deserved better. She shouldn't have died in the way she did." Klaus feels Stefan's gaze burn into him, and he almost smirks, just to piss the boy off. But then he remembers her screams, and he could not find it in him. "She was always there for anyone who needed her. She was one of the most beautiful, smartest, and kindest people I have ever known. She carried this light with her, and now that she's gone, the world will be darker than it ever has been. She will be missed." He spoke as though he were a robot, his eyes never leaving Klaus.

A groove was starting to appear on the seat.

When Klaus finally brought his eyes to meet his old friend's, he saw they were full of rage.

Klaus' are empty.

The hybrid stares at her closed casket for the rest of the funeral. Inexplicably, the only thing he could think was that it wasn't pretty enough for her. He could have planned this entire funeral much better than the Salvatores had. He _should_ have planned this funeral, but he had simply stared blankly as Damon had entered his, _their_ , bedroom and lifted her limp body. He had simply stared blankly at the form that had once held the most beautiful soul to ever have graced this earth as it was picked up by the man who had once hurt her.

It hadn't mattered at the time.

He smells blood and feels his fingernail rip off, but he does not stop.

He wishes now he had realized that it mattered more than anything else in that moment. It was the only thing that mattered, because she had been the only thing that mattered, and now she was dead.

Dead.  
He'd surrounded himself with immortals just so this never happened. So that he would never have to look at the world and see it grey, never have to feel _nothing_.

Before Caroline he hadn't felt much, but there had been something. During Caroline there had been everything. Now there was, for some cruel, twisted reason, an after Caroline, and within that there was nothing.

Maybe that wasn't true. His chest hurt like he couldn't breathe, even though he was clearly breathing. He was crying a lot. He was crying now, as the imbeciles in front of him rose to sing some sort of pointless hymn that would have sounded so much better if it were her singing it.

A splinter sits in his finger and he revels in the pain.

He supposes the tears are greif.

Most off all he _misses_ her.

He should turn it off. He knows he should. It's basically off anyways. Almost off. He should just do it already; flip the switch. In all his years he never had. It's a truly inevitable fact of the life of a vampire; that they would turn it off. Yet, he never had.

He wants to, he wants to more than anything.  
He can't, though. He sees her disapproving face everytime he considers it. Not the one where there was humor in her eyes. No, not the one that showed up after he had smacked her ass in an art museum or gotten caught drawing her as she was reading one of her unbearable romance novels.  
This was the one that had graced her face after he had killed the woman he was feeding off of, or when he had told Kol to get out and never come back.

It hurt. Everything hurt.

He wonders if his blood will stain the wood.

The townspeople occupying the church sat, and four people rose.

Matt. Stefan. Tyler. Bonnie.  
They moved towards her closed casket and each took a corner piece of the bars to carry her.

Klaus doesn't know why he rises. He doesn't know why he rushes forward and stands in front of the box that held the love of his life.  
"Move." Stefan growled out.

"I…" Bonnie was the only one who looked at him with pity. "I wish to carry her. Please." The last word comes out so desperate and strangled that Stefan almost gave in. Almost.

"No." Klaus moves his eyes to Tyler, who looks at him with pure hatred.

"Tyler… you don't have a claim on her anymore… you left. She was living with me. She was _loving_ me."  
"Shut up, before I-"  
"I will rip your heart out right here if you do not move." Neither of them notice the hand Matt reaches forward from behind Tyler to grip his shoulder. Tyler breathes heavily and Klaus knows he is struggling to keep his fist at his side. "This is my right, Tyler. I am your sire, do not forget that."  
"Not anymore, you sick bastard. I don't know what you did to get her in your bed, but-" Bonnie interrupted him.

"Tyler. He didn't do anything. She was in love with him. God, they were so in love. He's right. You left her. You don't get this, okay? Just let it go." Tyler hesitated for a moment longer and resentfully stepped back, allowing Klaus to take the casket, but insisting on walking directly behind it. The splinter in Klaus' finger screams in protest as it is shoved deeper in by his grip on the cool metal.

The townspeople turned right at the fork in the road which either led to the cemetery or parking lot. Those who had known her turned left.

The hole was already dug, and he almost faltered knowing she would be buried there. He heard Bonnie and Matt sniffling behind him and he knew Stefan saw the tears silently rolling down his face.

They place her on the belts. Damon lowers her.

Klaus struggles to breathe.

His beloved Caroline; in the ground.

It's so wrong.

Klaus normally wouldn't have payed attention to what they said, but he was desperate for every piece of her he could find.

Bonnie started, having composed herself.

She takes the shovel from the pile of dirt beside Caroline's grave and shoots a warning look at Damon and Matt who both move to stop her.

Klaus closes his eyes and winces at the sound of dirt hitting hollow wood.

She claspes her hands together over her protruding stomach. She doesn't look up, her eyes are trained on the hole.

"I hated you, at first. God, I hated your pretty blonde hair and your hovering tendencies and you were so _bossy_. I got jealous when Elena talked to you." She laughs at the irony. "Then, when we grew up, I loved you even though I hated you a little bit. I hated that I was too afraid to even go against you in Miss Mystic Falls," Klaus took in a sharp breath. "And not just because there is no way I could have won no matter who I went against, but because you would beat me even if we weren't living in a racist, elitist town. I lived with this burning hate for so many years, Caroline, and then the Salvatores showed up, and everything changed.

I loved you, Care. So much. I was so excited for you to be my maid of honor. I was so excited to see you take the world by storm and… this shouldn't have happened. You were supposed to outlive me. If I had moved to New Orleans with you, like you wanted me to, this wouldn't have happened. Caroline, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I won't get to see you stay beautiful for the both of us while I get old and wrinkly. I'm sorry you won't meet my kid," She runs a hand over her stomach. "or fight any more battles with me ." She paused, seeming to think for a moment. "You really were so good at making the dark times seem lighter. I'll try to take your place in that, okay? I promise. Enzo isn't here because he's packing up. We're moving back… they need us, right?" She laughed bitterly. "That's not true, they need you. But they have me. They have me and Enzo that'll have to be enough." He wants to hit her for being so stupid. Nothing will never be enough, not after knowing Caroline. "God, Caroline, I'm gonna miss you so much." She wipes away more tears and Klaus stared blankly at her.

Caroline been so excited for that wedding. She was so excited about the baby.

 _Her scream is shrill and rings through the house, striking panic into his heart. Klaus flashed down to the kitchen, finding her sobbing on the floor, head in her knees. He'd rushed to her, asking her what was wrong. She looked up and smiled through her tears._

" _Klaus, Bonnie's getting married!"  
_ " _Is that such a bad thing, love?"  
_ " _These are happy tears! Oh, Klaus. I'm a bridesmaid. I have to go to DC, I have to help her pick the dress,oh my god, Klaus! She's pregnant! They got a donor and he's smart and he's pretty! Enzo says he's almost as pretty as me! Klaus, I get a goddaughter!" She had stood and flashed up to their bedroom, throwing clothes into her suitcase at random. He'd followed, grabbing her arm to stop her from tossing something else._

" _Easy there, love. That's my shirt. Now, as much as I love seeing you so happy, you're just going to leave?" Caroline laughed._

" _Of course! Klaus, my best friend is getting married after she has a freaking baby! I have to plan it, I know exactly how to make it perfect. And I have to get her all the good baby stuff, because she's never been good at research, but I'll know what to get as long as I listen to baby books on the way up! Oh, I'm so excited!"_

" _Caroline," He forced her to face him, and her features softened from excitement to understanding, her palm reaching up to stroke her face._

" _Oh, baby. I swear, It's only for a week. We have to pick the dress and set a few things, then I can do everything from home. " He growled and moved his hands to her waist, pulling her forward and kissing her aggressively._

" _I don't want you to go."_

" _I'll come back, I swear. I'll always come back."_

She lied.

Damon was already through his no doubt short goodbye when Klaus' painful flashbacks stopped. His chest ached and Stefan's voice droned in his head but he didn't comprehend the words he was saying. He doesn't need to do this, he realizes. He doesn't need to listen to their devastated goodbyes to know her or remember her or have her. He knows her better than any of them, he had her in a way that none of them had. He'll remember her more vividly than any of them will. She won't fade from his mind, this he knows.

His tears taste like salt.

He feels a hand in his. It is large and rough and stiff, and yet for a blissful, fleeting moment he thinks it is hers.

He turns his head when he realizes it is not her. He turns his head and his already rigid posture stiffens. Damon Salvatore looks at him and nods, mouth in a thin line, eyes full empathy.

Klaus almost pulls his hand away angrily.

Almost.

He sees Damon's eyes and he realizes that he has lost the love of his life, too. It is not the same, not at all, because Klaus has lost her forever, and yet it is enough.

The tears haven't stopped since she died. He can't see them ever. It is strange, he thinks. How can these many tears even exist in a person?

He supposes it is because he refused to let himself cry for over one thousand years. He believed it is because it made him strong, until she changed things.

" _Klaus, please!"  
_ " _Caroline, I don't know what you want from me!"  
_ " _You're brother is dead, Klaus! Kol is dead! Kol is dead and I have cried and Hope has cried and even Hayley has cried! It's been weeks and you've just gone about life as usual!" Tears were streaming down her face as they spoke, and he wanted so badly to reach out to her, but he held back, kept his distance from her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't say life as usual, because you haven't touched me since he died!"_

" _Caroline-" He started, infuriatingly calm._

" _Dammit Klaus! Feel SOMETHING!" He throws the glass of bourbon in his hand to the ground and spoke quietly._

" _Caroline, don't you see? I feel_ _ **everything**_ _. I feel everything for you. I love you."_

 _It is the first time he says it, and it is out of anger, but it's enough for her, because he knows he is the most honest when he is angry._

 _He cries his brother's name that night. He is curled up, his back to her. He looks so small Caroline wakes. She immediately curls around him, shushing him quietly, telling him it would all be okay._

Tyler tells her he's sorry. He should tell Tyler it's okay, that she had forgiven him years ago. That she had woken Klaus up one night and whispered to him that she doesn't hate Tyler for leaving anymore, and Klaus barely feels the pang of jealousy because she is over the thing that has caused her so much pain, and he is glad for it.

Matt tells her his kids both cried when they heard the news. So did he. He says, "This isn't right, Care. You were always supposed to last longer than the rest of us. You were too competitive to go first." He runs a hand through his hair and Klaus notices the unnoticable touch of grey just starting in the boy's head.

She loved that boy, she loved that boy so much.

At least she wouldn't have to see him shrivel up into dust.

They finish and everyone stares at him expectantly. Damon has pulled his hand away by now and Klaus is cold.

He has been cold since she died.

He shakes his head and they leave, placing yellow roses onto her grave as they did so.

He almost scoffs. She liked sunflowers.

" _Klaus!" She giggles when he pulls the car over. He looks at her, false innocence plastered onto his face, and winks. She groans as he gets out of the car, and looks at him with a look of disapproval that had zero truth behind it when he holds his hand out to her. "Klaus, don't we have somewhere to be?"  
_ " _Oh, but look, love." He is leaning against their favorite car and she follows suit, her eyes going where his finger points. A large field of sunflowers lays before them, extending as far back and as far down the road as they could see. They were tall and facing Caroline; following the sun._

 _He thinks it must be a coincidence the actual sun is in the sky behind them._

" _Sunflowers? We have flowers for them, baby, really nice tulips, come on, we're gonna be late." He stops her from getting back in.  
_ " _Take off your heels." She breaks into a grin and closes the door, using her arm which is still attached to the handle to hold her body up. She rocks back and forth against the car trying to hide her smile. He wants to kiss her.  
_ " _What?" Her delight is poorly hidden and he knows she's pretending not to know his plan.  
_ " _Well, it rained last night. We can't exactly have you sinking into the mud every time you take a step, can we?" She stops hiding her smile._

" _We're skipping dinner with the Gelmicks?" He smirks._

" _Are you disappointed?" He's smug, and she hates it. She kisses him gratefully.  
_ " _Watching these sunflowers grow would be more interesting than dinner with those people."  
_ " _Mhm. Just as I thought. Come along, love." He leads her into the flowers, a smile plastered to his face._

Bonnie is the last one to leave. She stops at Klaus.

"Just so you know, I stopped hating you a long time ago."  
He can't look at her. She keeps talking.

"She told me everything, you know. You're quite sensitive, huh?" He doesn't react. "Don't worry about it. I'm not going to judge you. She loved it. She loved you." He tightens his fist and he feels her hand over it. "Klaus." He stares at her name engraved onto that ugly headstone and thinks about all she should have had. He feels the splinter slip out of his finger and onto the ground; magic's doing. He struggles not to hit Bonnie."Klaus, we're naming the baby after her." He finally looks at her. Her eyes are a beautiful green that he knows Caroline had always been jealous of. Her hair is in its natural state and he thinks of the witch Elijah had once loved so much. He almost smiles at the thought of another beautiful little girl raised in Caroline's likeness."I want you to do what she was going to. As godparent. I want her to know Hope. I talked to Enzo about it. The only reason he agreed is because I said he can call you godmother, but I think he secretly likes you." He almost smiles. "It's okay if you're not up for it. If we die Damon will still be godfather. You'll have a backup. What do you say?" He keeps looking at her and she reaches out and wipes a tear off his cheek.

"You're worried about me." She cocks her head and smiles sadly.  
"I promised her I would take her place. I know I can't, I know I'll never be able to, but I promised I would try." He doesn't stop looking at the pretty brown girl who his Caroline had loved so very much. "She worried about you, and I have to take her place."

He doesn't stop looking as he answers coldly.

"Don't. Don't try, you won't even come close. I won't be a godparent, Bonnie. I'm almost sorry about it." She nods and smiles sadly, but takes no offense to cold response.

"You can call me if you ever need to. Just… I won't be a witch for much longer." She whispered this, and Klaus was somewhat surprised.

"I will. Best wishes, Bonnie Bennett. May you never lose him." She nods and wipes away a tear before leaving him. He turns back to her grave and struggles not to fall to his knees.  
"Everyone keeps apologizing. Apologizing for nothing. At least not what they should be sorry for you… god, the way they treated you. You deserved so much more time with me. I'm by far not everything you deserved, but I could have given you it all. I should have.

I should have protected you, too. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'll never stop apologizing, I'll never stop being sorry. I'll fix this, Caroline. I swear. You'll be back. I'm getting your body moved back to New Orleans, not a single witch in that city will sleep until you're back. I'll get you a better headstone and a better casket and when you're back we'll burn them because we won't ever need them again." He pauses and hears her screams in his head.

" _Klaus… uh, baby- KLAUS." Her scream pierces the air and he rips his eyes away from the vial in front of of him just in time to see her pressed against the wall, and her heart is in a dark hand just before Klaus plunges the dagger into Marcel's abdomen._

 _He steps over his body to hers and holds her, screaming and screaming, crying her name and cradling her head in his lap._

 _He doesn't know how long he was there. He doesn't know if he had stopped screaming before Hayley finds them. Her blood doesn't stop flowing from the bite wound in her neck even though she's dead. His hands are soaked in it and her skin is grey and her veins swollen. He doesn't stop trying to feed her his blood and eventually his wrist stops closing up because he's opened it so many times.  
When Hayley steps in and finds the scene they are both soaked in blood and he his screaming her name and it takes an hour to get him to stop. _

_She buries the heart of the woman who had become her friend next to the place where she had buried Jackson's._

"I should have waited until I knew he was dead before I turned my back… I should have been listening… It wasn't worth it. God, I should have made you stay home, not that you would have listened, or I should have sent Hayley or anyone else. I should have stayed with you in there or… god, Caroline. I'm so sorry. I will fix this. I will, if it's the last thing I do. Now, if you excuse me, your lovely Stefan is waiting to punch me in the jaw. I'll let him live, just for you."  
He was still crying and his chest was still achingly empty. He didn't know if he would be able to keep his promise, but he would die trying if need be.  
Stefan screams and screams in his face that this was his fault and he shouldn't have let the bastard get to her and she shouldn't have been any where near him or that city or his family. Screaming and asking him whether or not he realizes his family brings death. Whether or not he's even feeling guilt.

The only time Klaus speaks is now. It is broken and barely audible, and oh so weak.

It is not right coming from Klaus Mikaelson's mouth, Stefan thinks.

"I'm sorry."

Something inside Klaus clicks when the pale boy's fist makes contact with his face.

Quite literally; clicks. The sound echoes inside his head and he doesn't know whether it was on purpose or accident. All he knows is the tears finally stop and his chest isn't hurting and rather than feeling a surge of anger at Stefan's blow, he feels boredom.

Rather than feeling remorse and heartbreak and sorrow, he feels bored.

A sense of relief washes over him, and it almost feels good.

What _does_ feel good is Stefan's heart in his hand, and the realization that he would not need to keep his promise to a dead woman.

The world lay at his feet.  
The world would _burn_ at his feet. It would burn fast and bright and angry and beautiful, just as she had.


End file.
